Ooops....

I didn't mention as I was freaking out below that i'm very close to securing a training partner for a marathon!! I'm very excited and am possibly (if i can finance it) doing disney with her in january. I'm praying about it and really hopeful that it will work out. Okay now i'm done!!

Beware.....I'm fired up today boys and girls!

So today it started. The beginning of a whole new life at crazy trimama's house. Up very early................but not early enough based on the frezy that ensued around 8:05.............drop off with no problems no whining or crying (by Winks anyway) at KINDERGARTEN! It went very well minus the fact that I forgot to pack him a drink for his lunch. Thank goodness a friend was driving down the street in front of the school on my way out to walk two blocks to the van to get my purse and grab some money for the milk machine. Yep, I borrowed milk money on the first day of school!!! Then off to a day of intellect, and academic discovery and professing knowledge abound about things that I enjoy in my profession and that I'm very passionate about to.................................. WHINING COLLEGE STUDENTS!!!!!!!!!! I don't get it! I've tried to understand it and I'm to the point that I want to scream then sit back and watch as my head pops off my shoulders and splatters all over their whining faces! Come on people the sign out front says..... "UNIVERSITY" not "HIGH SCHOOL" or "THE 13TH GRADE". If any of my students ever read this, please forgive me. I will not use your names or your likenesses in this rant. But, I must in fact display some disgust in our time together today. I love you all, and forgive you for your immature display of behavior! May we come to an understanding that it is partially my job to ensure that you are not only a good therapist, but a thoughtful therapist I also intend to make sure you get your money's worth out of me. Broken you will not leave me for I am a warrior! A warrior in this fight! A warrior with a mission to see you succeed!! Whoa.............I'm just getting started, so, hang on................. I understand that because our program is selective in admissions and that we essentially teach the same 28-30 students for 4 semesters that we do get to know them on a more personal level than most professors would their students. I also understand that the students I have right now have me in front of them 6 hours a day 4 days a week. A lot of "stuff" is espoused in that time and there is a lot of work to be done in a short amount of time. But, I would never have asked a professer.............. "why do we have to do this project?" "did the class before us have to do this project?" "we have so many things to get done?" "what do we need to know for the quiz?" Why?????? Did they just ask me WHY????????? I thought I was going to have to climb out the window and scale a wall and jump off the top of the building!!! What the heck is going on? I was livid. I could feel my blood pressure rising. And to top it off they were asking this stupid stuff in front of our program director...........MY BOSS! Hellowww!!!! Get a Grip!! I blame this all on standardized testing. It is the fault of someone with nothing better to do than sit around thinking of ways to make us more dumb................................ "Let's tell them exactly what they need to know, then teach it to them so they don't have to open their books or buy them for that matter since they are sooooo expensive. We also don't want them to think too hard, because we really are tired of people thinking for themselves because then they cause too much trouble. Yeah this is a great idea..............get the governor on the phone" I wasn't the most brilliant student, but I worked hard. I would have never, ever questioned a teacher or professor in front of my class about an assignment. Heck, I would never consider questioning them in private. You know what I would do? I would get to my car, drive out of the parking lot and scream TO. MY. SELF. How the heck would I fit all of this together I would ask TO. MY. SELF. Would it get done?? Oh yes! I worked part time during my undergrad years, and full time during 2 years after that, while going to school full time. And I graduated with honors! Because, I worked hard!! Was it hard? Yep. Was it worth it? Yep. Did I get frustrated? Yep. Did I cry? Yep. Was I stressed? Yep..........you get the idea What some of my students just don't get is that I work hard at this. I sacrifice time and energy on this. I LOVE this! My body is here working yes, but my heart and my mind are fully devoted to this program. I love teaching. I am extremely passionate about Physical Therapy and I want my students to feel that passion and understand that it's not about picking up a check. I don't do that here on campus, and I don't do that out in the field when I'm working with patients. Do some of them understand? I think so. But, it's the ones who don't get it that I'm worried about. Be compassionate for crying out loud! Give something of yourself to your future! Have some drive, some heart, some fight in yourself! Show some initiative! Get fired up about learning!! Heck, get fired up about something!!! And if you can't , well then keep your mouth shut and don't bruise the spirits of those around you. I am tired of trying to fire up people who just chose to be complacent about life. God has given us so many opportunites to shine. Don't take my shining moments and turn them into your bad day! Get over it!! Grab it!! Take it!! It's there for the taking!! Use it!! mama, out

"Brain.........are you in there..........hello?........hello?"

First day back to school................ High energy, "on my game", enjoying being back, but having trouble getting warmed up in the cerebral hemispheres, feeling dumb and clumsy in front of 26 students the first hour, slowly, slowly, ever so slowly warming up in the 2nd hour, sore throat, 6 hours later.................. yikes, I'm tired!! How can I be so tired from talking for 6 hours? I'll tell ya how..........it's the fact that I'm attempting to use the brain that I haven't been using for the past 3 months. It's amazing how dumb I've gotten in the past 3 months!!! This is material that I've gone through 4 times already (I'm starting my 5th year of teaching), and I should be able to pick it up and breeze through it. No, I decided to stumble all over the place.........just in the beginning, because I am a professional after all! But, really it's amazing how quickly my brain gave me a kick and said "you really need to give me a little more caffeine to be able to talk about neuro anatomy". But, by the second hour I was on my way to brilliance! It all came back once the little bugger up there got all warmed up! I love it, love it, love it!! Well, I'm back at it and ready to go at it full force!! My throat is sore and phlemmy (spelling?) and I'm ready for a nap, but I am out of here in 45 minutes to take a long bike ride. I'm looking forward to the air. The fresh air in my face. The "I'm free to do whatever I want to do" air in my face. I miss that feeling. I haven't been on that little red thang in about 5 weeks. I miss it, miss everything about it. So, I will re-join her. Thursday is the day.............Winks and the start of kindergarten. I'm doing okay with the idea today. We'll see how things go on Thursday morning though. He is in class with his best friend and I'm anxious to see how that all plays out too. They will love learning, I'm just wondering if the teacher is ready for the two of them together. It could be interesting stuff!! So for now, think of me on my red bike zooming along the lake, feeling the lake breezes, pedaling like a wild woman, cranking my heart rate up, breathing deeply and smiling........................smelling dead fish, avoiding road kill, catching bugs in my teeth!!! Hee, Hee!!! Fun stuff!!!

Academics galore!!

It's been a while since I've posted anything. So sorry, but life is crazy prior to the beginning of a new school year. This is the first year that I am preparing not only myself, but all members of my family for some sort of "school". Ceito is a public school teacher. He is moving into a brand new multi-million dollar high school which has been a very, very long time coming for this community. I toured it with him last week and must say that I was choked up a few times at its beauty and the opportunities that it brings our community. It's really just amazing what a building could possibly do to an entire community. I always pray for his safety while he is in school, and that he will be a beacon of God's grace and love through his actions and his words to his students. Winks will be starting Kindergarten as discussed earlier this summer! I've got to tell you that this child is aching for school! He talks about it constantly and is so excited to begin this new life of his! Mommy is coming around to the idea, but I do have some reservations! I am sending a bright, confident, energetic, peaceful (at times), loving, caring, joyful, thoughtful child to a public school. I am in no way stating that public schools are the best or worst for kids like him. My concerns for him are that he will lose the endearing qualities and characteristics that I have listed above. My prayers for him center around him connecting with his education while at the same time being insulated from the "things" of this world that a 5 year old should not have to deal with. He will see things that he will not understand, and I pray he will not want to understand. My prayer for Ceito and I is that we continue to show him that he is in this world but not of it. I will tell him everyday to be a blessing to someone, show God's love through his actions and words. My little Bug will begin her first year of preschool. A wonderful program that Winks went through as well. It's only 2 mornings a week 2 1/2 hours of controlled play resembling learning through activities and involvement with other 3 year olds. I'm exicited to see her bloom. Thus far, all she understands is that Wink's school, is now her school. She really has no thoughts about what she will encounter other than her teacher will be Mrs. Cinderelly (Mrs. Cimorelli), and that she will wear a dress her first day! My prayer for her is that she doesn't get kicked out..................just kidding! She is a very vibrant, one minded child (her way!) I pray that she will continue to grow and mature and learn, and that she will love her new surroundings and show others God's love. I just hope that I will be ready for what will be an exciting fall semester. I have a group of very intelligent students with me this semester and I hope that are ready to pull up their big girl/boy panties and get to work!! Fall semester is my condensed semester, 16 weeks of work into 8, then the rest of the semester I'm only on campus 1 day a week. It's a lot of work, but it's also my favorite work...........neuro, rehab, geriatrics, strokes, head injuries...........love it! I pray everyday that my words will be thoughtful, and thought provoking. I want my students to enjoy my classes, and to know that their success is important to me. Most importantly, I want them to look at me and wonder why I'm differnet from other professors that they may have encountered. I cannot discuss my beliefs, but I can make them wonder why I shine so brightly. I am proof that God loves everyone, I know that He has a wonderful future for me, and I embrace that everyday. A bad day happens, but it's only a day! A speck of sand on an endless beach of eternity. God's grace flows in and out of me! So, that's in a nut shell what is going on as far as school prep at our house!!! Running is going better. I left my shoes at my parent's house in Columbus. So, I haven't had the cushioning that I'm used to with the Saucony's. But, it must be the Wildflower spirit still on my trail shoes that has carried me to some good runs in the past week. It could also be the music that I've been listening to. I like to listen to praise and worship music when I go on my longer runs. It's inspiring and up lifting. What better place to listen to that kind of music than surrounded by God's handy-work! I got a copy of music that my brother helped with. He is in a praise band at his church. These people are very gifted!! I love every song on there. The lead singer is amazing and the music that these people can put out is beautiful! My favorite today is Shout! Love it, pumps me up! I was in their church last week, and it really is like going to a concert! No sleeping there!!! Thanks for the tunes bro..........and dad who copied it!! I started lifting at home again. I like to do what I call peripheral body pumping circuits. I do an upper body lift 12-15 reps, then quickly switch to a lower body lift for 12-15 reps, then on to a core move, then rest about 30 seconds and move on. I don't plan the lifts I just think about the next one while I'm doing one, and work about 40 minutes. I, historically, have not embraced weight training with endurance training. I find it difficult to run/bike on sore legs that have lactic acid achiness! But, I'll get back into it. It's one of those things that I know I should do, but don't............like flossing! Last words.............please pray for my cousin Phillip leaving for Iraq tomorrow. May God guide him and his unit in safety and bring him home unscathed by things he may see and do. I must return to my academic mind now..............syllabi, notes, books, calendars!!!! Love it!!!!

Set a dog-gone goal already!!

So, here's the thing. I've started training again. For what I haven't decided yet. But every race needs a base of training. I took a few weeks off from anything organized, you know.......run when you want......whatever....and I'm left with..... Blah. I'm walking more than I'm running at this point!!! How can it be that less than 3 months ago I was running 8-9 miles at a time? And enjoying those miles! This morning I set out at about 6:30 for what I felt would be a wonderful morning to run along the lake. It was. I even wore a long sleeve shirt due to the wind off the water. It was beautiful. I was running strong, feeling great, a little bounce in my step, feeling the cushion of my wonderful new Saucony's..............to. the. end. of. my. street! What? Did you just stop at the end of the street? Yes. I'm just gonna stretch for a minute.........early morning run......need some more wake-up time! Hams......good, Quads......good, Calves.....good. Okay, I'm off. Run behind the campus, past the soccer fields. Beautiful morning. Oh cute dogs walking their owners towards me.........to. the. end. of. that. street.!!!

No way did your feet just stop again. It's not even a physical thing, where I'm saying "Wow I'm winded, let's slow down a bit." No. I just stop! What's up mama? You're a Wildflower Triathlete. You are crazy tri mama. You completed one of the most rigourous triathlon's on this planet just 3 months ago, and now you're running street lengths? What's up with that?

It's a mental block. That's the only way I can describe it. I hate it. And I don't use the word hate. But, I hate this feeling. I need goals in my life. I stress goal setting with my students all the time, and here I am just kinda floating through time. Granted, I've decided not to race any more big races this year, but how about a 5K, or 10K? I don't know. Looks like I'll have to get my mental toughness back.

I think I can, I think I can, I KNOW I CAN! It's all mental right now. Historically, I have had sports related mental blocks.......one really big one comes to mind right now.

While playing basketball in college as a freshman I was the 7th or 8th man. Never a starter, but eager to learn and play, and I worked very hard. My brother is the gifted athlete. I loved watching him run and play basketball, and long jump....I'm the one who was intense and just a downright hard worker. Not that he didn't work hard, it was just natural for him.

Anyway back to the story......freshman playing basketball, working hard, moving up the substitution rotation, getting some playing time, actually got put in as a 2nd 1/2 starter in a game in which we were getting our butts handed to us, did very well, made several key plays and actually scored several times, got my name in the paper, we still lost, but my coach saw a side of me she had not given me the chance to show. I could play baby, I could play hard. Not always the best shooter, but I could play. And, so I did. She began bringing me off the bench pretty regularly. I was playing my best and I worked hard. Things were moving right along through Christmas.

Then.......

Bam.......

Literally, Bam.........

I got knocked out by the biggest "girl" (or was it boy?) on our team. I don't know......but she was huge. This "member of our team" could throw a basketball the full LENGTH (baseline to baseline!) of the court and hit the wall on the opposite end.............crazy big thing!

She flattend me out during a drill. Out. Cold. Hit to the head. To the hospital. Concussion. Out of games for 2 weeks! I was never the same when I came back. Coach was trying her hardest to get me to grab the fire back, I just never was the same. It was a mental block.

So, what's my block now? I'm sure it's lack of a good goal. So, here I go. You are all witness to my goal setting principles. I teach the S-T-E-A-M method of goal setting.

S=state the goal

I will run the Run For The Grapes 5K (yah, only a 5K, gotta start somewhere) on Sept. 17. A reasonable goal

T=Time

Sept. 17..............51/2 weeks from now. Plenty of time. More than enough time really. Although it's longer than to the end of my street.........pathetic!!

E=Ensure success

plenty of time to get that distance down. Easy distance for me in the past.

A=Action oriented

pretty well covered in the action department. Increase mileage by 1/2 mile every 5 days. One off day every 10

M=Measureable

5K......any runner can run a 5K.....

One teeny tiny goal will set this trimama into action. That's really all I needed. One tiny goal!

So, thanks for letting me ramble. Hope you aren't totally thinking, "what is wrong with this girl?" I just need to work through my mental fatigue I guess!

"I Said It First!"

I'm laughing my head off thinking about the converstation I had with my 5 year old last night. We're in the van on the way home from pool-sitting (tough day) and Winks starts talking about getting married. He was talking for a few seconds (okay a few minutes) before my mind clicked into his conversation. This child will talk non-stop, no joke..........so sometimes I tune it out....bad mom i know, i know! Anyway, he was talking and talking and talking about getting married. He has been saying that he is going to live with me forever, so hearing him talk about becoming independent tugged at my ears. "Mommy I'm going to marry Adrianna" Adrianna is a girl who was in his pre-school class the past 2 years. Very cute. Very smart. And they shared a ride in the big red skate at her 4th birthday party. She got to pick 2 people to go with her and she picked her brother and Winks. It's been all about Adrianna ever since!!! "Okay, when did you decide this?" "I decided it a long time ago" "Wow, so you are going to marry Adrianna, then move away from mommy?" "No, we'll get married and live with you" "No, that won't work honey you'll need your own house and own things to marry Adrianna" "Well, I don't know if she'll marry me or not because she'll have to choose" "Yes, you and she will both have to choose" "I don't have to choose, I'm going to marry her. But she will have to choose between me and Nathan" Nathan is another boy in his class. Good kid, but no match for Winks with the Adrianna subject. "So why will she have to choose between you and Nathan?" "Because one day at school Nathan came in and said he was going to marry her, after I had already said I was going to. So I said it first, but then he came in saying that he was going to. So I thought he was just joking since he knew I was going to marry her. But he said he wasn't. So, she is just going to have to choose between us." "And who do you think she will choose?" "Well...........I think she'll choose me, because I said it first" I left it at that, because really in a 5 year old's mind that's all that matters. He said it first and that's the way it's going to be. I didn't go on to tell him that if that's the way it really worked then mommy would be pretty unhappy right now in her life. The bum magnet life I led would have brought me much sadness I think! I didn't say it first, but I'm so happy that almost10 years ago I said that I would marry Ceito. It was right after our first date. I just could not believe that I could click like that with someone so amazing. I really thought that I would never meet someone like him. Someone so loving and caring and supportive. And he can really paint well too! Anyway, I've been thinking about that conversation all morning and thought I would share it. ta ta for now!

Some Like it Hot....

I. DO. NOT.

It's just too hot for me today. Outside it was 93, inside it was 83. Every year when it gets this miserable I say, "Okay, I'm going to stash some money away without Ceito knowing it....enough to put central air in before next summer" Do I do it? I do not. And I'm crabby? Downright crabby!

There has been one escape. My in-laws moved into a house in April that has a beautiful in-ground pool. It has become my families get-away this summer. My mother-in-law is also a teacher, so she is home during the summer, and fine with us hangin' at her house all day long. She even makes dinner for us most nights, because yes we are still here. I feel bad about the dinner part a lot. She does a ton for my family and I know that she shows love through cooking and caring for her family, but it makes me feel guilty sometimes. Love it....yes, guilty......yes!

Well, they are on vacation this week so Winks, The Bug and I have been pool sitting. I must say it's the best job I've ever had. Here by 10am and out around 8pm. It's hard work too! I had a few friends over yesterday to help me out with the tough job I've been given. About 15 of us handled the job well! Tonight Ceito came along and we had some family time, then some Pizzi's Pizza..............yummy stuff, but not on the diet. I did have 2 slices though, and followed it up with an ice cream sandwich..........thank goodness for flex points!!!!

So, I'm posting this from the in-laws house. Winks is dying to get on here and play some games, so I'll move on and go check the pool again.............hey, someone could have done something horrible to it while I was in here............just doing my job!!!