Bad news for my goals!

Well, after my wonderful 18 mile run on the "dreadmill" (Thanks IronJenny for the new term!) I mentioned that my left leg was hurting.........thus, the need to give myself frost-bite remember? Well, I really was struggling with just walking normal for a few days after that run. Going up and down stairs was horrible, and I just felt pretty depressed about the pain I was having. So, I made the decision to not run until my next long weekend run which was to be 14 this past weekend. I iced, ultrasounded, e-stimed and stretched. Didn't even bike, just rested! I felt pretty good by Wednesday of last week, as far as walking went. Didn't try running, just rested. So, on Sunday when I headed out for 14 I was looking forward to a great run. Started out slow, just to ease my leg into it. The first 2 miles were a little sore, but I pressed on. But, by mile 6 I was in a lot of pain. I stopped, walked, stretched and grouched at myself for the next mile. I came to a point in the mapped out run where I could continue on or take a road that lead to home. I did the latter and really felt crappy the remaining 3 miles.

I believe its tendonitis, with a mild possibility of "shin splints". My hamstring in that leg is also very tight, but releases easily with prolonged stretching and massage. It's really one of those crazy runner pains..........no rhyme........no reason..........no regular pattern of pain..........just goofy!

I am so depressed about this, but I've decided to lay off of this leg and just bike the remaining 3 weeks of my marathon training. My plan is to double by run mileage onto the bike with the hopes that the cross training will be enough to pull me through the race. Actually, I've decided not to call it a race anymore. I just want to finish!! I will finish if I have to walk the entire thing! But, my thinking is that it's going to hurt, but I'll run it out, then it will be over with and Ceito can push me around the airport in a wheelchair while I have a big grin on my face with my Mickey Medal around my neck!!

I've talked to my training partners about this, and one of them is also injured and is planning on walking most of the course. The other one, was really looking forward to running the entire course with me, and now feels that she is okay with hanging with me if I have to run/walk. I feel bad about that. I've told her to go ahead if she feels like she can. I want her to experience what she set out to do, and not worry about me. I'm sure it will be a "game-day decision" on that front.

So, I'm pluggin' along with this training. I love training, but I'm so depressed right now that I don't even want to think about the outcome. What ever happens, happens and I'll be grateful for the experience. I kinda have in the back of my delusional brain that this is a pre-cursor for my Ironman goals, and if I can't do this how can I do that????? It's a broken record in my head right now. I'm trying to shut it off, but it keeps playing. Not to get too wacked out about this, but I know that God has a plan for me, and it may not include Ironman. If I focus on His goals for me, my life will be more than an Ironman medal or trophy.

Thanks for listening!


My prayer is first and foremost to glorify God in this, in any way that I can! But, I also pray that I can set out to accomplish my goal of running this whole thing. Maybe the time off of it will help, maybe it will make me weak..........don't know..........I guess I'll find out!!