Head Games
When out for my run this morning I concluded that I'm never more physically happy or mentally disastrous than when I am running. I think of it as runner's bipolar disorder! After 4 years of running pretty regularly I'm absolutely amazed by the mental components of running. I don't seem to feel this way with swimming or biking it's the running that gets me. I'm almost never in the "bipolar" swimmer's or biker's world..........it's the running!
Example.............before my run this morning I stretched and laid on the living room floor and thought about the route I was taking which I was excited about doing since it's my original 5K route that I started running on 4 years ago! Fun, back to my roots so to speak. I wasn't thinking about anything being hard, it's my shortest run this week and it's a 5K for cryin' out loud..........Curly Su told me in the last 5K of Wildflower in '06............."Anyone can run a 5K" and that helped on that day even though I know it's not entirely true!!............so anyway, I wasn't thinking about the distance. I was thinking about music. To take or not to take that was the question. I've been struggling the past 3 weeks to block out the negative thoughts on my runs so I've been going with music. But, during my run on Tuesday the music annoyed me. So, I went without it today.
First mile.............felt good (8:50, not fast but comfortable), happy to be out of the house, happy to be able to use my body this way, happy to see the sun......all of this even though the street I was on is being re-paved and is currently in the "gotta get really bad and torn up" stage. 2nd mile still good, but my head was playing games with my legs. My legs were listening to my head too....that's bad! I just wasn't feeling the second part of the run. It's ridiculous that I can't shut up my negative thoughts for 26-28 minutes to run a stinkin' 3 miles!
My favorite thought to ambush the negative stuff is............"if this was easy, everyone would be out here doing it". That thought along with the Josh Grobin version of "You Raise Me Up" playing in my head worked today and I finished up pretty strong, but was still reeling with the negative thoughts even when I ran up the driveway home.
That easy button is not just elusive to me, it's elusive to anyone who is pushing themselves to become better in whatever, not just endurance sports. I want this peaceful mind when I'm pushing myself but I know that in order to grow and become better it's going to hurt physically and mentally. I keep on keepin' on when it hurts and that truly is what makes you stronger. It's when the negative side of your brain is telling you to stop and you give into it that you become stale and complacent. I don't want that, and really just won't tolerate it! So, I keep telling the dumb thoughts to shut up and I tell my legs to keep running.
I was happy after the run was over, thus completing the runner's bipolar disorder cycle! Ahhhh, life is good...........and crazy!
Example.............before my run this morning I stretched and laid on the living room floor and thought about the route I was taking which I was excited about doing since it's my original 5K route that I started running on 4 years ago! Fun, back to my roots so to speak. I wasn't thinking about anything being hard, it's my shortest run this week and it's a 5K for cryin' out loud..........Curly Su told me in the last 5K of Wildflower in '06............."Anyone can run a 5K" and that helped on that day even though I know it's not entirely true!!............so anyway, I wasn't thinking about the distance. I was thinking about music. To take or not to take that was the question. I've been struggling the past 3 weeks to block out the negative thoughts on my runs so I've been going with music. But, during my run on Tuesday the music annoyed me. So, I went without it today.
First mile.............felt good (8:50, not fast but comfortable), happy to be out of the house, happy to be able to use my body this way, happy to see the sun......all of this even though the street I was on is being re-paved and is currently in the "gotta get really bad and torn up" stage. 2nd mile still good, but my head was playing games with my legs. My legs were listening to my head too....that's bad! I just wasn't feeling the second part of the run. It's ridiculous that I can't shut up my negative thoughts for 26-28 minutes to run a stinkin' 3 miles!
My favorite thought to ambush the negative stuff is............"if this was easy, everyone would be out here doing it". That thought along with the Josh Grobin version of "You Raise Me Up" playing in my head worked today and I finished up pretty strong, but was still reeling with the negative thoughts even when I ran up the driveway home.
That easy button is not just elusive to me, it's elusive to anyone who is pushing themselves to become better in whatever, not just endurance sports. I want this peaceful mind when I'm pushing myself but I know that in order to grow and become better it's going to hurt physically and mentally. I keep on keepin' on when it hurts and that truly is what makes you stronger. It's when the negative side of your brain is telling you to stop and you give into it that you become stale and complacent. I don't want that, and really just won't tolerate it! So, I keep telling the dumb thoughts to shut up and I tell my legs to keep running.
I was happy after the run was over, thus completing the runner's bipolar disorder cycle! Ahhhh, life is good...........and crazy!
posted by crazy tri mama at
11:45 AM
1 Comments:
When I was commuting via bike I'd get that 'bi-polar' thing too. One day I remembered the scripture that speaks of our weakness being made strength in God (2 Cor. 12:10). From then on I looked at the hills and wind and heat as things that were making me stronger. It made all the difference in reaching goals. I'm working to get that back .... it ain't easy.
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